Decide to Thrive: Overcoming Indecision, Unlocking Productivity, and Reducing Stress

Decades ago, a pioneer in the field of professional organizing (Barbara Hemphill) said, “Clutter is postponed decisions.”

When I started my business in 2007, this statement rocked me and still does.

Why? Because according to my Myers-Briggs Type, I am “perceiving-oriented.” This means that I dislike planning, love gathering information, and find decision-making boring and even stifling.

But, if clutter is postponed decisions, then my preferences for an existence unencumbered by decisions will lead to more physical, emotional, mental, and time-based clutter in my life and work.

Not good.

What is good is that Jungian Types reflect preferences, not capacity, for action. Early in my career and shortly after the birth of our daughter, I grew overwhelmed by the time-based clutter and decided that “going against type” was preferable to the stress caused by my desire to keep all options available.

I had to learn to make decisions quickly – and move on.

One aspect of my Jungian type that makes this a bit more palatable is the other extreme preference I display toward extraversion. I am not a pontificator. I think by speaking; my dog (and my car windshield) can attest to that behavior.

But quick decision-making is risky and sometimes scary. That’s why some humans may want to avoid it. We don’t like things that make us feel bad.

The Perils of Executive Indecision

I met with a new coaching client yesterday. Three months ago, she was given a team of 200+ people to direct. As excited as she was for this next phase of her career, she said that how she was managing her work was not sustainable.

You see, on the surface, she was cool, calm, and collected. Under the surface, she was drowning. I picture here like that meme of a duck who is completely unruffled above the water and paddling like heck underneath.

I realized quickly that she was likely taking excess time making decisions. She called this insight “eerie” but here was the evidence for my observations.

First, she was a relatively new upper-level executive. It is not unheard of for newer executives to bring their penchant for slow, thoughtful, decision-making with them to their new roles. Accustomed to having the luxury to think through an answer before responding, new executives quickly find themselves buried under a stack of decisions that “just need a little more thought.”

Funny how the skills that bring a person into the executive ranks are the same behaviors that plague them once they get there…

Second, I asked her how many emails she had in her Outlook inbox currently. It was in the thousands. I have come to view email overload as a symptom of bigger issues rather than an independent problem. Emails are like mucus.

Excess email can indicate:

  • A culture of CYA
  • A need for improved communication
  • Poor records management practices
  • Lack of empowerment
  • A distaste for decision-making
  • …and so much more!

The good news for this client (and perhaps for you as well) is that I consider the email inbox as a “skills lab” for practicing quick decision-making.

When you process your email decisively rather than “checking” it, you systematically desensitize yourself to the scary, but necessary, behavior of “decide and move on.”

Yes, sometimes your quick decisions will be wrong. Sometimes you’ll ignore something that comes back to bite you. But those instances will likely be in the minority.

Why? Because you are smart and know what the heck you are doing. You have good instincts and can trust yourself to apply those.

Also, the alternative to the risky quick decision is being buried alive under an avalanche of unmade decisions. From the bottom of the scree, you’ll end up deciding through indecision.

Bottom line: Decide to decide.

Even if the whole decision-making “thing” is not a readily accessible personality preference or skill set.

The benefits tend to outweigh the costs.

P.S. – I have this thing I’ve been working on in secret and wanted to let my loyal, long-term members know first! Join the VIP list for immediate notification.

 






Dr. Melissa GratiasMelissa Gratias (pronounced “Gracious”) used to think that productivity was a result of working long hours. And, she worked a lot of hours. Then, she learned that productivity is a skill set, not a personality trait. Now, Melissa is a productivity expert who coaches and trains other businesspeople to be more focused, balanced, and effective. She is a prolific writer and speaker who travels the world helping people change how they work and improve how they live. Contact her at getproductive@melissagratias.com or 912-417-2505. Sign up to receive her productivity tips via email.

7 Comments

  1. Diane Quintana

    I love the image of the duck floating along gracefully on top of the water and paddling like heck underneath – I can relate!
    I also like the idea of deciding to decide. I do not have a problem making decisions. Many of my clients are stuck with the ‘what if I need it…’ thought. For things that are just too emotionally laden, we place that item in a marinating box while the client weighs the pros and cons. For other things, I urge a rip-the-bandaid off approach. Options are always good but living a relatively clutter-free life is even better.

    Reply
    • Melissa Gratias, Ph.D.

      “Rip off the band-aid” is one of my go-tos as well. I also like “eat the frog” from Mark Twain’s quote (popularized by Brian Tracy’s book). We indecisive folk can spend waaaay too much time dreading the decision and thus prolong our discomfort. Ahh, the paradox of the human condition…

      Reply
  2. Seana Turner

    All of this is so good!

    Love that phrase about processing email instead of checking email. I can be guilty of this as well. I check it so I know what is ahead of me, but then sometimes I don’t get back to it all. It’s a constant battle. At least weekly, I try and make sure I have processed everything, but I love your idea of being mindful about this up front.

    Also terrific insight on the idea that we can become capable in a skill that does not naturally fit our “preferences.” Sometimes these tests can become an excuse, and that isn’t the goal. The goal is to see where we might need to bring in some reinforcements to be able to function well. I’m a big fan of rowing downstream when possible, but we all face tasks we’d rather not do.

    Reply
    • Melissa Gratias, Ph.D.

      Psychological/personality inventories are tools to provide self insight, but you are correct, we humans can use them as reasons/excuses to avoid the discomfort of stretching ourselves. Unfortunately, discomfort is a precursor to growth. Ahh, the paradox of the human condition…

      Reply
  3. Julie Bestry

    Oh, what Dobby and hour windshield could tell us! 😉

    “Emails are like mucus” should be a meme. A gross one, but still.

    You and I are so alike, and yet so different. I love planning and prefer everything in tidy little boxes; I’d be OK if almost nothing were ever spontaneous (except things for which there are no consequences, like, “Hey, wanna get tacos?” However, like you, I adore gathering information; research is my jam. Where we part ways again (and yet are similar) is that I love (and find making) final decisions easy, and not at all stifling…unless it involves money. I can pick a restaurant, a vacation venue, a present for someone or what post to write, and I find making the decision and giving myself closure makes me feel more free, not stifled. (Add financial consequences, though, and I’ll hold back until the last minute.)

    And the truth is, no matter how much time I give to making a decision, 99% of the time, I go with my initial choice, my gut-level preference. (I really should trust my gut.) You’re right. Deciding to decide cuts through so much time wasted on dithering; we know what we want to do and need to trust our judgment.

    Finally, you’re so right that email is a skills lab; I think email and whatever is on top of someone’s desk are the two best areas of identifying priorities and cutting through the dilly-dallying! Onward! (But without the mucus!)

    Reply
    • Melissa Gratias, Ph.D.

      As much as I love to advise clients to “decide to decide,” it sometimes feels like I’m recommending having a “meeting about meetings.” And, the mucus analogy felt right when I wrote this (in a spontaneous burst of writing inspiration), but perhaps discussing how “email is like a fever” would have been less gloopy. I must have had a runny nose that day…

      Reply
  4. Janet Barclay

    Wow, this is SO helpful for me right now! I’ve always had trouble making decisions, and no matter how many filters I create in my email, I always end up with more message (both read and unread) than I’m comfortable with. It never occurred to me that the two could be connected. Going to be mulling this over for sure!

    Reply

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